A setting who gets this right will…
- Have stronger child outcomes – children feel safe, settled, and confident, leading to better learning and development.
- Experience improved parent trust and engagement – parents see the setting as reliable, supportive, and responsive to their child’s needs.
- Have reduced behavioural challenges – secure relationships help children regulate emotions and behaviour more effectively.
- Have more staff satisfaction – practitioners feel purposeful and valued when they see the positive impact of their relationships.
Their role is to help ensure that every child’s care is tailored to meet their individual needs, to help the child become familiar with the setting, offer a settled relationship for the child and build a relationship with their parents and/or carers. They should also help families engage with more specialist support if appropriate.
Early Years Foundation Stage Statutory Framework 2024
A bit of theory
Why does this matter?
What do Ofsted Reports capture?
Reflect and learn
Task One – Where are you at in your practice right now? Which statement best reflects this…
- You are a sought after to be a key person regularly and positive feedback is received in frequently.
- You form strong attachments with key children and their family members.
- You form some attachment with key children and their family, but not enough.
- You have not formed an attachment with key children and their family.
Self-awareness leads to self-development so consider what you should do with this reflection and also consider if your reflection would be stronger or weaker than your colleagues and what you can do as a result of that too.
As an extension can you consider the following two questions:
- Can you think of 2 reasons why it is important for the key person to support continuity and attachment?
- Can you identify 2 reasons why parent/staff relationships are vital in early years?
Discuss this with colleagues too to enhance your understanding and promote professional conversations in your setting. This might lead to discussing what it means to be a key person to you and your team. Below are some things that other Early Years educators have said.
What does it mean to the team?
Strategies for forming secure attachments with children
Everyone in the nursery needs to form secure attachments with children, but the type and degree of familiarity shifts depending on role.
Apprentice / Trainee:
- Strategies
- Focus on warmth and availability — be responsive to children’s needs (smiles, eye contact, comfort).
- Engage in play at the child’s level to build trust.
- Follow routines consistently (helping with nappy changes, mealtimes, sleep routines).
- Observe and learn from experienced staff about when and how to offer affection appropriately.
- Attachment Style
- Daily closeness and reliability form the foundation.
- Boundaries reinforced by supervision and guidance.
Qualified Practitioner / Senior Staff
- Strategies
- Take the role of a key person — providing continuity and emotional security for specific children.
- Balance warmth with professionalism: comfort children when distressed, celebrate milestones, communicate sensitively with parents.
- Model “secure base” behaviour — being present, dependable, and calm under stress.
- Begin setting the tone for apprentices (showing appropriate closeness and boundaries).
- Attachment Style
- Nurturing, stable, and consistent — the child should know they can depend on you every day.
- Relationships rooted in developmental support, not personal familiarity.
Room Leader / Manager
- Strategies
- Build attachment through leadership presence: greeting children warmly each morning, checking in across rooms.
- Know children well (names, routines, preferences), but allow key workers to hold the closest bonds.
- Provide emotional security for staff — when staff feel secure, they are better able to provide it for children.
- Step in for comfort or reassurance when needed, but maintain professional distance (children shouldn’t rely on you over their key worker).
- Attachment Style
- A “secondary secure base” — someone safe, calm, and trusted, but not their primary daily attachment figure.
- Children experience warmth, but less day-to-day intimacy.
Owner / Strategic Leader
- Strategies
- Offer consistency through your presence and ethos — children recognise you as part of the nursery’s secure environment.
- Build attachment by being visible, approachable, and warmly acknowledging children.
- Trust staff to hold the closer bonds — your role is to create the environment where secure attachments are possible.
- Interactions are friendly but brief, reinforcing children’s sense of belonging without overstepping into the practitioner’s role.
- Attachment Style
- Symbol of safety and stability rather than direct daily attachment.
- Warm presence, but more reserved — less familiarity, more authority wrapped in kindness.
🔑 Key Nuance Across Levels:
- Apprentices & key staff: close daily familiarity, physical comfort, shared play.
- Managers: trust and reassurance, but one step back from primary attachment.
- Owners: warm visibility, creating security through environment and consistency, but minimal familiarity.
Task Two – One Warm Action
Step 1: Write it down
- On a post-it, write one way you currently help children feel secure that fits your role.
Step 2: Swap & Compare
- Share with someone in a different role (e.g. apprentice with manager).
- Discuss: How are our actions different? Why does that make sense for our roles?
Step 3: Commit
- Add one sentence: “In my role as [X], I will continue to show warmth by [action], while keeping professional boundaries.”
This only takes 5–10 minutes, but really sharpens awareness of warmth + boundaries at different levels.
A day in the life of a Key Worker [I love this idea, even if it is AI generated but would be great to get someone to do it]
The Triangle of Trust
The triangle of trust continued…
Maintaining Professional Boundaries with Warmth and Connection
Boundaries protect you, the child, and the family — and make the relationship stronger.
Warmth First, Professional Always
- Children and families should feel genuinely cared for. Smiles, encouragement, and listening go a long way.
- Keep the warmth, but remember your role is a professional one — not a family friend.
Trust Through Consistency
- Being reliable, present, and consistent in routines helps children feel secure.
- Trust is built by showing up and following through, not by sharing personal details.
Closeness Within Role
- It’s right to form close, nurturing relationships — children thrive on attachment.
- But the closeness should be about the child’s needs and development, not your own.
Professional Communication with Parents
- Be approachable and empathetic — parents need to know you understand their child.
- Show care by listening and updating them, while keeping the focus on their child, not personal life.
Affection with Safeguards
- Offer comfort when children are upset, celebrate their achievements, and enjoy playful moments.
- Always do so in ways that are safe, age-appropriate, and in line with safeguarding guidance.
Friendly, Not Familiar
- Share warmth and encouragement, but avoid over-sharing about your own private life.
- Remember: parents need a trusted professional for their child, not another friend.
Boundaries Strengthen Relationships
- Families respect practitioners who are approachable and professional.
In conclusion
You can be warm, caring, and trusted — while still holding clear boundaries. In fact, children and families feel most secure when those boundaries are in place.
GIST – Good ideas for starting things…
- Ask yourself, what is working well in your parent relationships? What could be improved?
- Write an individual action plan with 2–3 specific steps to enhance parent engagement.
- Ask two colleagues if they only communicate through one parent if it is a 2 parent family and what could be adjusted in their approach if so?
Want to learn more?
- https://nurserystory.co.uk/the-key-person-approach/
- https://www.teachearlyyears.com/a-unique-child/view/attachment-the-key-person
- https://watchmegrow.uk/working-with-parents-the-triangle-of-trust/
- https://www.amazon.co.uk/Persons-Early-Years-Peter-Elfer/dp/0415610397